On being a weirdness magnet and sick hypochondriac (and trying to avoid a literary figure in the ER)
My friend John was taking a leak in a public restroom once when a middle-aged woman appeared out of nowhere and grabbed his cock. Now, John is the most professorial looking person I know, what with his white hair and matching beard and the natty hat he wears year-round, but he’s also the man who celebrated his 50th birthday by . . .