I Shall Call It the Uhotchik

This post was written by guest blogger Wendy McClure.

Not too long ago I wrote about my new (um, still theoretical) invention, the Book-touring Femmebot, which combines the Unotchit, Margaret Atwood’s robotic book-signing innovation, with the latest in artificial hottie technology to tap into the under-served market of male literary groupies. Progress on the prototype has been slow as we’re searching for a silicone polymer skin that can resist ink, coffee, and cheap merlot stains, but be assured that development continues. Some of the features:

  • Attractive decolletage holds promotional postcards in handy pop-up dispenser.
  • State-of-the-art audio components deliver surround sound from oh-so-fine rear compartment.
  • Unique sensor detects awkward pauses during Q&A sessions; after 12.5 seconds Femmebot will automatically break into breathy, cabaret-style singing.
  • Powerful retractable arm capable of smacking bookstore patrons who ask, “So is it hard writing male characters?” or “Actually, I have no idea what your book is about — I just wanted to ask you who your agent is.”
  • Now if only I can get it to carry heavy stuff and drive me places, I’ll be set.


    You might want to subscribe to my free Substack newsletter, Ancestor Trouble, if the name makes intuitive sense to you.