Sweatpants, and attempted library pick-up lines

After failing to connect with a shy but literate lad who might or might not have looked good in sweatpants, Jill evaluates several library “ick-up lines.” (Scroll to the November 15 entry.) Here’s an excerpt:

“Guys here are too quiet,” Sarah consoles me, “besides, imagine him in sweat pants and a hoodie. You just like the way he’s dressed. You wouldn’t like him in sweat pants and a hoodie.”

I stand there thinking about sweatpants in general. They’re not very attractive. By the time you start thinking someone looks good in sweatpants, you’ve already written off his back hair as “adorable” and convinced yourself that his collection of comic books is endearing.

I don’t know what I’d say, if I actually would have talked to him. I could have been honest and said, “Listen, I don’t know if I’d find you attractive in sweat pants, but you’re actually reading at a Library, and that makes me believe that you’re literate. Plus, you’re dressed in a way that indicates that you may have a job and your own form of transportation, which isn’t completely important to me, but it’s nice to know that you don’t spend all day skateboarding outside the mall.” Or not.

Last weekend, one of my NPR programs mentioned Europe’s most successful pick up line: “A year from now, let’s be laughing together.” . . . .


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