Paris Hilton’s acting prowess

You know my reaction to the news that Paris Hilton (a/k/a “that skanky photo negative”) will play Daisy Buchanan in a film adaptation of The Great Gatbsy. Well, Tod Goldberg agrees:

I’ve only seen one movie starring Paris Hilton (though I’m sure others exist) and what I can tell you is that she won’t look quite right swathed in white and lounging on a couch with Jordan Baker, their dresses rippling and fluttering as if they had just blown back in after a short flight around the house . . . unless the actress playing Jordan Baker is engorged on Viagra and is doing her best to incapacitate Ms. Hilton with aggressive thrusting and poor videotaping technique.


You might want to subscribe to my free Substack newsletter, Ancestor Trouble, if the name makes intuitive sense to you.