Was that Jesus, or my father?

Hopped up on sinus medicine, enraged about the war on Iraq, writer A.L. Kennedy sees Jesus, and He sets her straight on some things:

Listen, perpetual war – that’s what I want. War and red cows in the Holy Land. And forget civil rights and union laws and all that environmental bollocks – everyone who’s anyone is leaving earth soon, so who cares?

Make as much money as you can, any way you can. Money is an expression of my grace. When the End Time comes – and boy is it coming – I’ll only know whether to save you by checking your stocks. Remember, when I come back for real, all of the skanky poor folk and heathens’ll be toast.

First, I’ll rapture up the Good Fortune 500 Christians, then the 144,000 Jews who’ll have converted to me just in time, then the saved’ll get to watch while I kill everybody else. It’ll be cool.

(Emma picked this up more than a week ago.)


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