The Miami Herald has the skinny on an upcoming Simpsons script featuring Gore Vidal, Tom Wolfe, Jonathan Franzen, and Michael Chabon. All but Vidal are crushed to death by a boulder.

“Franzen’s scream has a hint of falsetto; Chabon writhes as he lets out an anguished moan.” As for Tom Wolfe?

“Aaaaaaaahh! Wait, no, that wasn’t good, let me start over.”

“How did you scream last time a boulder was hurtling toward you?” asks Carolyn Omine, executive producer of The Simpsons.

“Why don’t you try, ‘Aaaaahhhh, my suit!'” suggests a rail-thin, nerdy-looking writer.

“Ahhhhh, my suit! It’s gabardine!” wails Wolfe, toward the microphone. “Well, but cops wear gabardine.”

 

See also:

• Tom Wolfe courageously draws attention to the plight of America’s gold-diggers.

• The University of Idaho offers a short quiz on literary deaths.