Claire Zulkey has posted recipes for her readers’ favorite childhood snacks, including these contributions of mine:
Recipes for Simple Childhood Snacks I Prepared by Myself:
Gouge knife into jar of peanut butter. Lick peanut butter off knife. Repeat.
Open can of Kool Aid powder. Pour scoopful of powder into mouth. Repeat.
Put marshmallow on plate. Microwave for 1 minute on high. It will grow like a giant puss ball! Eat while it is still big, scalding the roof of your mouth.
Place whole egg on plate in microwave. Microwave for one minute or until egg explodes. Do not eat it. Do not clean it up. Leave kitchen immediately. Later, blame it on your sister.
Intentionally lose your mother in JCPenney. Find the candy counter. Look sad and then burst into tears because you are separated from your mom. Voila, candy! Eat quickly, because your mother is probably on to you.