Declining to shed tears over the announcement that the Whitbread corporation has discontinued its literary prize, former Booker chair John Sutherland fears that the “cloudy press statement” could signal a forthcoming literary prize named for one of Whitbread’s “subordinate brands,” which include Beefeater, Pizza Hut, and TGI Friday’s.

He wonders who’d accept a literary award from the company that recently issued this proclamation:

We all need more Friday’s [sic], and TGI Friday’s [sic] continues to be the ultimate destination for people across the UK in search of a distinctively different experience. Its renowned bartenders dazzle guests with their flairing [sic] skills while serving from an extensive cocktail menu, including a varied selection of non-alcoholic cocktails.