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After leaving his readership high and dry all day, TMFTML is looking to raise $80,000 to fund a full year of the top-notch content you’ve come to expect at his site. Given the number of times per day we hit the reload on that URL, the price only seems fair.

Donate $10,000 and a suitable .jpg of yourself and, among other things, Mr. TMFTML “will pick the Times staffer of your choice and mercilessly mock them until they quit the paper.” What’s more, he says, your sponsorship:

would also accord you all sorts of privileges unavailable to the great unwashed who click through here looking for pictures of Chan Marshall’s muff: there’ll be special TMFTML Pub Nights, where you’ll be able to buy me as much bourbon as my liver can stand; I will pick the Times staffer of your choice and mercilessly mock them until they quit the paper (the mere suggestion of the fact that I was about to start in on Vanessa Grigoriadis was enough to send her scurrying for the safety of Rolling Stone, which is great in that it means that no one will ever read her again); you’ll receive my coveted and mysterious e-mail address, and, of course, I’ll send you naked pictures of myself. Or Chan Marshall’s muff; it’s your call.

In addition, I’d be happy to compose the kind of customized post that Choire requested the other day, although I can’t see writing about something as silly as where to have sex outdoors in Williamsburg (frankly, once you find yourself in Brooklyn you’re already fucked). But any other topic you wish to see my incisive worldview brought to bear upon is fair game. Except for the television “show” Yes, Dear, which is an absolute piece of shit and not worthy of my talents.

The Old Hag has proposed a backup plan in the TMFTML comments: a “Ladies Who Link” TMFTML calendar.

We at MaudNewton.com are still paying off the U.S. Department of Education and will be unable to donate. What’s more, we will be too busy guarding the Old Hag on her jaunts up and down the turnpike to participate in the calendar. So we’re counting on you. Line up the transfers from your Swiss bank accounts and get fresh batteries for your digital cameras, or sign up now for the calendar photo shoot.


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