Bill of Portland, Maine has announced the first-ever Cheers and Jeers Knuckledragger Award for Not So Fine Literature,* established “[i]n the spirit of the famed Bulwer-Lytton Fiction contest, and out of open contempt for Rick Santorum’s upcoming screed, ‘It Takes A Family.'” The rules:
In one or two sentences, write the opening paragraph for a really bad novel starring your favorite right-wing wacko. Suggested characters might include James Dobson, George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Jeff Gannon/James Guckert (hubba hubba), Rush, Ken Mehlman, Phyllis Schlafly… or even Bootyrocket and Friends at the cold outer rim of the blogosphere. The inclusion of foodstuffs and/or bodily emissions is encouraged, but not necessary. Please…. no poetry or serious entries as I have a delicate constitution.
Send your entry to: email@example.com.