Scholars put off by the 32-line, text-message version of The Iliad probably shouldn’t visit the Four Word Film Review, where Troy is variously described as:

Trojans slipped on erection.
Pitt skirts around Troy.
Troy to stay awake.

And for Apocalypse Now:

Chopper, Hopper, acid dropper.
Drunk Sheen punches mirror.
Larry Fishburne reaches puberty.

(Via the Cinetrix.)