Mother

My mom’s leg is numb and evidently has been for a week.

She hasn’t had a decent physical in at least seven years, and she recently announced that she will never go to the doctor again.

She made this decision after she went to an optometrist to have her prescription changed.

Before the exam, he looked over Mom’s answers to the standard medical questionnaire and handed the form back to her. “You forgot to fill in your medications,” he said.

“I don’t take any medications,” she said.

“None?”

“None.”

Then he looked her up and down, asked when she’d had her last physical, and said, “at your age, you should be taking something.”

So Mom decided that she’s never going to the doctor again because they “just want to prescribe you a bunch of crap you don’t need.”

“If I have a heart attack and fall over in the yard,” she told my sister this weekend, “I want you to just leave me there.”

She says my stepfather has agreed to this plan.


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