Laptop theft victim suspects thief found her personal essay files clumsy and self-conscious

From Bloggy Mountain Breakdown’s “An Open Letter to the Fuck Who Stole My Laptop“:

On second thought, you’re probably not enjoying it too much. If you’re breaking into cars in the Winn Dixie parking lot at 2:00 a.m. on a Tuesday morning, odds are good that you do not have a full appreciation for the stability of UNIX. Just a guess.

Did you get a chance to pilfer through my files yet? This vague sense of violation that I’m holding on to tells me that you did. So, what did you think of those essays? No, no, you’re right. They are a little clumsy and self-conscious. That one about my dead father though, that was getting somewhere, don’t you think? You should have seen the first draft. What a mess! I couldn’t get around my defensive use of humor. It just got in the way and stayed there. But after I cleaned it up, I thought it was taking shape quite nicely. You know, old man, you really should feel free to send me your thoughts on it. You’ve got my e-mail address (provided you know where to find it). I’d simply love to get some feedback from the juvenile delinquent set, they being the intended audience and all.


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