Ayn Rand and L. Ron Hubbard fused into one….

A knockoff Wikipedia site disseminates erroneous (and hilarious) information about, among other things, Egyptian hieroglyphics and terrible books. The synopsis for Fountainhead Earth, “a twenty-volume philosophical fiction novel by Nobel prizewinning author Ayn Rand,” reads:

Bureaucratic aliens from the planet Stanton have invaded Earth, stifling all rational thought in a mere nine minutes. They enslave all the architects, forcing them to build fashionable and nonfunctional Doric façades in front of every McDonalds. Randroids, huge semi-mechanical creatures, a cross between a cyborg and a public-address system, stride the landscape in Ayn Borg Collectives.

Johnnie “Galtboy” Tyler (played by Keanu Reeves) comes along and meets Dilbert (played by John Travolta) and Wally (played by Forest Whitaker). Disgusted with their office politics and disregard for quality, Johnnie trains his tribe of cavemen in capitalism in one week and achieves a leveraged buyout of perfectly preserved Harrier jumpjets. He then flies these back to the planet Stanton and delivers a 40,000-page speech that bores the aliens literally to death.

And don’t miss the Lord of the Rings/Harry Potter/J.R. synthesis.


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