Just had a brief conversation with Sister, in which she relayed my mother’s reaction to the news that we will be visiting for three days and two nights in October. “Is that all your old mother’s worth to you?” Mom asked.
Sister didn’t have to answer (“Well, [insert evasive statement about school, busy schedules, etc.]”), because just then Mom broke off the conversation to yell at one of the dogs.
“Goddamn it, Whiskers,” Mom said, “don’t you pee on that cage or I’ll mash your guts out.”
When Mom returned from scolding the dog, she began to pontificate about “what it means to be a mommy.”
“So, what was it like for you, Mom,” Sister said, “to ‘be a mommy’?”
“Well, it’s a full-time job. It requires all of your energy and dedication. You should remember how often I had to pull over on the side of the road on the way home from school to beat your ass off.”