Private: Hot and cold

In the winter, our bedroom is so hot that we could grow bananas in it. Except that bananas need moisture, and the heat coming off the radiators dries out everything in the room.

So, O.K., maybe we could raise tarantulas or grow succulents instead.

When I wake up in the morning, I feel like our old basil plant. Nights it withered near the bedroom window. Mornings we watered it and watched it spring back to life.

The plant finally died when we went out of town for ten days and forgot to ask our cat-sitting friend to check on it.

On the other side of the apartment, in Max’s office (I have my own office, but his has the newer computer in it), the radiator never turns on. The room never seems to get warmer than 55 degrees, so I wear sweaters and thick socks and wrap fleecy throws around my legs when I’m in there.

One night I swear I could see my breath.

In winter, the cats like to hang out on the cold side of the apartment, and I’m convinced their coats thicken overnight. In the mornings they come and sleep with us and shed their new growth all over the black afghan my grandmother knit for me.

Witness the proof, courtesy of the intrepid husband:

move me if you dare, bitch!

I mention the temperature in my apartment because I’m at home today (my work schedule gives me every other Friday off).

Lazy slob that I am, I slept until noon.

I woke up parched, my mouth dry, my eyelids barely capable of opening, and drank about a gallon of water.

nutritious breakfastThen I flipped through Max’s latest copy of res and ate some cold leftover pad thai.

(It has been established that I am capable of eating anything for breakfast; recently I went through a coconut chocolate Pocky phase).

At last I recalled the productive plans I’d made for myself: Write two chapters of novel. Take train uptown to pay tuition fees. Clean apartment. Return call from friends in Miami who left message announcing their engagement and inviting us to a party.

I came into Max’s office and logged on and started answering email.

I’m still wearing pajamas (like I said, lazy slob), but I’m also huddled in a thick robe and wondering if I should put on some gloves.

I guess I’ll just order the books for my lit class from Amazon and then log off and get dressed and do something with my afternoon…

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