Okay, this piece is the funniest thing I have read in centuries. Group Mobilization as a Desperate Cry for Help by Christopher Monks:
You are invited to take part in a flash mob, the project that creates an inexplicable mob of people for ten minutes or less, in the front yard of my ex-girlfriend Deborah’s house, tomorrow at 6:13 p.m. Please tell anybody else that you think might be interested in joining us…
Once the instructions and poster boards have been passed out, I will organize the group. All of the guys who are better looking than me will be sent to the back and will be required to wear sad clown masks. If I find that a better-looking-than-me guy in a sad clown mask is still better-looking than me I will ask him to leave.
I’m a big fan of this Christopher Monks fellow.