Private: Favorite sayings of my deceased (and beloved) Texan grandmother, with explanations

1. He looked at me like a calf at a new gate.

(Evidently a calf is unable to identify a new gate in its pen until it is led through it a few times.)

2. Get down from there or you’ll fall and bust your head open.

(Can be adapted to any activity, e.g., “don’t dive into the pool or you’ll fall and bust your head open.”)

3. Ain’t neither one of them got a lick a sense.

(Usually said about my parents.)

4. I wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire.

(Reserved for my father.)

5. She’s really shittin’ and flyin’ now.

(Translation: She’s nouveau riche and just bought something that proves it..)