Private: Don’t miss a word

An educator’s travails:

….when I asked Jack to please stop throwing spitwads and he declined on the grounds that I was “a bitch,” the classroom was exceedingly hot.

“So you’ve mastered the noun,” I said menacingly, moving in close to Jack’s sweaty face. “How ’bout the verb? How about this? The bitchy bitch bitched bitchily!” I stepped back, elated. “There! How many parts of speech did I use?”

Though this spontaneous grammar lesson marked the first time my students had actually grasped the adverbial, the dean was not impressed. Three mommies had called to complain. (The daddies, probably because most had moved out of state, never did.) “Next time,” he told me, “just write a referral.”

(Via Cowboy Sally, natch.)