After Jon Stewart, the funniest political satirist in America is mysterious blogger Mr. Sun. Even at 93 million miles from Earth!
Mr. Sun has now uncovered hidden provisions buried within the sweeping intelligence reform passed this past week. Among them:
- Dan Rather classified as enemy combatant and, as such, may be detained indefinitely and subjected to hysterical sexual pranks without legal recourse.
- All Pentagon employees receive pocket Rumsfeld-to-English Dictionary in orientation packet.
- All government employees must turn in time sheets on Tuesday in order to receive Halliburton payola on corresponding Friday. No exceptions, Cheney.
- New open culture includes expansion of standard “Yes, Mr. President!” to include “Great idea, Mr. President!”, “You bet, Mr. President!”, “Okily-dokily, Mr. President!”, and “10-4, Chief!”
- Airport screeners get one free feel per 12-hour shift, second base only.
- Last one to leave Langley headquarters each night feeds Bigfoot and the Roswell alien, no messing with them anymore c’mon now guys.
- New hire psychological profiling includes Lynndie England genital-pointing session to gauge mental toughness. Rookies with tiny Johnsons are not to be hazed.
Mr. Sun also has a startling gift for finding super cool web sites, like this gallery of “Space Art in Children’s Books 1950’s-1970’s”.
And this abomination to God and Nature: Pet Interfaith Holiday Greeting Cards. Because you haven’t lived until you’ve seen a dachshund in a yarmulke.
After you’re done with the pet interfaith cards, you owe it to yourself to check out the “patriotic” cards, and purchase yourself a six pack of this.
Truly not worksafe, unless your boss doesn’t get suspicious when you spit your coffee out all over your monitor.