Be entertained

Stephany Aulenback’s weblog, Helpful Advice for Pregnant Ladies, debuts:

On Telling

Do not tell anyone you are pregnant. Ever. If you get dizzy or throw up and some well-meaning person inquires about your health, tell them you have a tumor. It will be a nice surprise, even a relief, when you finally do give birth to a small human being. Newborns are generally quite hideous to look at, often resembling small rodents or fat elder statesmen or both, but even they are more attractive than tumors. Usually.

Other posts: On How to Retain the Affections of a Husband, On Hunger, More on Hunger, On Swollen Mammary Glands, On The Need for More Frequent Urination, and On Inconsiderate Strangers.


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