Bad sex winner, and little else

Sting has announced the winner of the annual Bad Sex in Fiction award. Indian investigative journalist Aniruddha Bahal has beat out John Updike, Paul Theroux and Paulo Coelho:

Bahal’s hero says he feels like an “ancient Aryan warlord” after discovering a Swastika shaved into an intimate part of his female companion’s anatomy.

As the temperature between the two rises, Bahal shifts gear in a blur of motoring metaphors.

“She picks up a Bugatti’s momentum. You want her more at a Volkswagen’s steady trot.

“Squeeze the maximum mileage out of your gallon of gas. But she’s eating up the road with all cylinders blazing.”

(Via The Elegant Variation.)

Otherwise, far be it from me to say that there’s not much out there right now. There is, after all, a second Telegraph review of Trees: Woodland and Western Civilization, billed as “an ambitious study of the tree in Western history.” The essence of the reviewer’s assessment: “Trees is not an especially wise book, but it does succeed in showing just how tangled and far-reaching are the ideas that have clustered around trees.” Don’t all run out and buy it at once.

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