And He called it Mortal Kombat

Biblical scholar Geoff Haggerty returns to the original Hebrew for a new translation of Genesis. Alter’s got nothing on this guy.

In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth. The earth was without form, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And God said, “Let there be Sonic the Hedgehog.” And there was Sonic the Hedgehog. God saw Sonic the Hedgehog, and it was good. He totally loved it so much that he played it all night. Thus there was night. Morning followed. The first day.

Then God said, let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters. No, not a firmament. Let there be a dolphin in the midst of the waters. A dolphin who can change his shape and use sonar as a weapon. And God made the dolphin and called it Ecco….


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