Another day, another plague of locusts predicted by Pat Robertson. Upon learning that Dover, Pennsylvania voted in a new school board that opposes “intelligent design” instruction in public schools, he warned the citizenry:
If there is a disaster in your area, don’t turn to God. You just rejected him from your city…. God is tolerant and loving, but we can’t keep sticking our finger in his eye forever…. If they have future problems in Dover, I recommend they call on Charles Darwin. Maybe he can help them.
Mark Twain thought the question of intelligent design was settled more than a hundred years ago. In “Was the World Made for Man?,” he sifted through the evidence and showed how it conclusively proves that God created the planet for humans, and humans alone. Here’s an excerpt:
According to Kelvin’s figures it took 99,968,000 years to prepare the world for man, impatient as the Creator doubtless was to see him and admire him. But a large enterprise like this has to be conducted warily, painstakingly, logically. It was foreseen that man would have to have the oyster. Therefore the first preparation was made for the oyster. Very well, you cannot make an oyster out of whole cloth, you must make the oyster’s ancestor first. This is not done in a day. You must make a vast variety of invertebrates, to start with — belemnites, trilobites, jebusites, amalekites, and that sort of fry, and put them to soak in a primary sea, and wait and see what will happen.
Some will be a disappointments – the belemnites, the ammonites and such; they will be failures, they will die out and become extinct, in the course of the 19,000,000 years covered by the experiment, but all is not lost, for the amalekites will fetch the home-stake; they will develop gradually into encrinites, and stalactites, and blatherskites, and one thing and another as the mighty ages creep on and the Archaean and the Cambrian Periods pile their lofty crags in the primordial seas, and at last the first grand stage in the preparation of the world for man stands completed, the Oyster is done. An oyster has hardly any more reasoning power than a scientist has; and so it is reason ably certain that this one jumped to the conclusion that the nineteen-million years was a preparation for him; but that would be just like an oyster, which is the most conceited animal there is, except man.